Whew, it has been a journey Beautifully-Complexers. Since July, I have managed to overcome a toxic work environment, control the anxiety in my life, and get married. It’s been tough, and so many tears have been shed. I have never hit a wall this bad before.
The new job I started this year, really triggered something dark and deep inside of me. It was to the point that each morning I had to work, I would cry; lay in bed and cry. I would even become sick to my stomach before each shift. The panic attacks were way more extreme and frequent than they were before at the previous job (that I left back in March.) I could not understand why this job had this effect on me. I honestly felt like I was being punished.
After several panic attacks, I decided it was best to take a leave of absence for my mental health. The stress and anxiety were too overwhelming, and I had to do what was best for me. During my leave, God helped me start picking up the pieces in my life. He provided me with peace, comfort, and eventually I found His joy in my life. Gratefully, I am at the point now that I don’t panic, I simply give it to God to handle. What a blessing. He also surrounded me with my family and friends to be there for me throughout it all.
During that time, I was grateful enough to box up all my worries and marry the love of my life, Pierre Bowers. September 4, 2021 was nothing short of a dream. When I saw my mans waiting for me at that alter, my heart melted. As I walked down the aisle, I saw the tears of joy in his big brown eyes that I love so much. Of course, I cried, but I managed to get it together fast lol. Both the ceremony and reception were filled with love and joy. I even twerked on him a few times. I felt like I was watching the movie of my life. I felt free. And to think I never dreamed of or wanted to have a wedding. We continued the celebration at the happiest place on earth and let me just say, I married the best road trip partner. It was a magical week filled with so many memories.
Throughout everything bad that 2020 and 2021 has caused in my life, I was able to rise. I felt so low, dark, and guilty. I couldn’t write like I wanted because everything I produced was reflecting the negativity in my life. I was not myself. But, Pierre held my hand through it all. He was truly my rock and I could not have asked for a better husband. I’m so grateful to have such an amazing man on my team and equally blessed to be on his. I love that man so much.
To Pierre, my handsome husband:
I am forever grateful for all that you do. You are an amazing friend, teammate, and husband. I am so excited for our future together. I know you will make an amazing father one day. Thank you for choosing me.
Love Your Wife,
Mrs. Cadesia D. Bowers
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